I recently had a conversation with my sister and her boyfriend on the topic of homosexuality and whether or not one is born gay or chooses to be gay. What do you believe? Are homosexuals born with same sex attraction or do they choose to be attracted to the same sex? The topic intrigues me because as a minister I have to be prepared to give an answer according to the word of God. Many churches are being asked to answer these types of questions. As I contemplated on the conversation this is what I believe the word of God has to say.
I personally believe sin has caused certain people to be born with a gay predisposition. It is sin and not God that has caused all predispositions to evil. Nevertheless God’s word promises everyone the power to change our sinful nature/predispositions.[1]
How then do I explain that many who claim to be gay say, “They have always known they were gay and God made me that way.” I believe I have a probable, plausible, persuasive and biblical explanation. Yet before we begin I build on the premise that the Bible clearly condemns a homosexual lifestyle.[2] With that being said I go on to my explanation.
We are all born with certain predispositions/temptations to sin for our natures are sinful[3]. To some food may be their vice, to others money, to others still it is a predisposition/temptation to lie, towards laziness, towards lust, the list is endless. I personally know men whose predisposition is to have many sexual partners. However a person’s disposition/temptations do not justify his/her actions when they contradict the word of God and this is where homosexuality enters the mix.
If we examine our lives carefully we all have certain temptations that strike each of us “closer to home.” Satan is always trying to find in us the path of least resistance and we all have those avenues we need to guard. Yet we also have avenues Satan does not seem fit to tempt us with. For example the enemy never tempts me with alcohol because he would be wasting his time. Nothing in me is in the least bit tempted on that avenue. The same goes for homosexuality that does not resonate with me. Yet there are individuals that it does and this is where Satan attacks.
Temptations[4] are real. Gay and straight people are both severely tempted. Yet temptations should not justify sinful choices. Nevertheless temptations are powerful. Early on Satan begins to whisper to a child that they ought to be gay. Any sign of giving in to that suggestion will be followed up by more gay suggestions. Satan will beat that temptation like a drum until it seems the constant temptations are who we are “supposed” to be. Combine that with society now applauding gay behavior and certain ministers coming out and you have the excuse there desire crave[5]. However, that tempted individual should continue to resist the temptation to gay behavior because it violates the direct teachings of the Bible. If you read the scriptures the Bible condemns the action of homosexuality not the temptation/predisposition towards it. Just like a husband is not condemned as an adulterer simply because he was tempted to it, the condemnation comes when he gives in to the temptation/predisposition and does not repent.[6]
Condemnation for giving into temptations applies both to gay and straight individuals. A heterosexual young man engaging in premarital sex[7] is condemned as well. Yet some would say, “at least a heterosexual young man has the hope of marriage, gays are told to live solo for life.” That may be the case but wouldn’t you rather obey God and allow His grace to sustain you[8]? Living without sexual intimacy could be part of God’s calling on your life. Jesus, Paul, and others[9] have done so for the sake of the gospel. We are all born with a predisposition to certain temptations yet giving into them is not the solution; trusting God’s word is the answer.
Heterosexual men and women should not give in to their temptation to premarital sex. Thieves should not give in to their temptation to steal. Pedophiles should not give in to their temptation to molest. A spouse tempted to commit adultery should not give in to their temptation to an extramarital affair. We are not to carry out every predisposition we are tempted to, simply because we are tempted. We are called to “crucify the flesh with its passions and desires”[10] We have been given the power of choice and the grace of God to empower that choice.
We all have been called to carry our cross[11] and you might feel celibacy is one you cannot bare yet God can give you the strength to endure all things.
“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
[1] Romans chapter 6 and 2 Cor. 5:17
[2] Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:26, 27
[3] Romans 7:14 …but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin.
[4] 1 Cor. 10:13
[6] John 3:19-21
[7] Hebrews 13:4
[8] 2 Corinthians 12:9 And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."
[9] Matthew 19:12 ...and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.
[10] Galatians 5:24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Super article! But now can you include any attractive reason why I should crucify the flesh? Is there NO reward in this life for 'sacrificial' obedience? (I think I am listening from a needy homosexual's perspective.)
ReplyDeleteWell written! Somehow though I don't think that saying that a gay person has to live solo for the rest of his life is a satisfactory conclusion pastor. I personally believe that someone with a tendency to be gay can with time and trial be ministered into a monogamous heterosexual lifestyle. Now I realize this will be extremely tough on the individual, and it would be very painful indeed, but its part of the process of having God's character worked in us.(This is the same with any individual overcoming his/her nature, rather its healing from alcohol abuse, overcoming addictions, etc) And we as Christians are called to love and persevere with those who are being cured with these afflictions:)
ReplyDelete@Tony: That's where I wanted to go, but you said it so well.
ReplyDeleteThe reward of crucifiying the flesh is that we are only losing that which is harmful to us, and gaining the blessings God intends for us. I like a conclusion that inspires hope and faith that leads to commitment to God and His plan.
My tendencies are not a choice but what I do with those tendencies are a choice. I hated many of the things of God before. There are many a time that I find that I still do love my sin.
ReplyDeleteThere was someone who posted something about loneliness on facebook in regard to this question. I was listening to something on parenting earlier today. It was talking about how parents like to smooth away all difficulties and make everyone winners these days. The speaker asked a question, do we come to God in any way other than in defeat? I may turn to Him now in my times of success but I came to the foot of the cross out of my absolute need, out of my failure.
I bring this up because in todays feelings oriented world we sometimes forget that the goal of this life is not for us to feel good or even for us to be happy. Those are the side effects of the joy and peace of God that we can experience, but they are not the goal. If we spend this lifetime without something, whether it is human physical love or money or fame or whatever it is not necessarily a tragedy. If we come to Him, we can be complete in Him. In the end, even if I experience human physical love, I still am only complete in Him. I was not made to be completed by a man anymore than a man was not made to be completed by a woman. God gave us each other because God likes to give, but we were created for His pleasure. We will never find true fulfillment in anything less. The tragedy will not be found in the loss of something on earth. The tragedy will be the loss of God Himself.
Human relationship is supposed to help us understand the relationship with God. God Himself is the groom to the groomless, the husband to the husbandless, the father to the fatherless, etc.
I have been reading through Deuteronomy and am really having to let it sink down and change my thinking. Our society has a hard time with destruction and total goodness being connected. What I think God has been trying to say to me is you don't get how bad sin is, that is why you are struggling with this idea.
Sometimes the longing for something unfulfilled is the strongest draw to send me to God in search of Him. When my sin clashes with my Saviors commands I have a choice, cherish my sin or believe Him when He says that He is better than my sin. Do I want my own way or am I content to let Him be enough, my everything, my all?
In the end we find Him better and more than anything else we have ever longed for. All His biddings are enablings and all His denials are but joy and freedom.
I certainly appreciate your thoughts Tony! Neither of us meant this post to mean a homosexual's only option was celibacy. I think we cannot limit God and He can bring complete healing if we are willing to walk that road with Him. But we have to remember that even Paul had a "thorn in the flesh" that He asked God to remove and God decided not to removed it but said "My grace is sufficient for you for My strength is made perfect in weakness". So God may not in this life take this temptation from the individual as He has not removed certain temptations from my life, so I still have to resist them by His grace. The important thing is just that we cannot use God taking away our temptation as reason/criteria for following His commands. We have to say with Job, "though He slay me yet will I trust Him," and strive with all that is in us to obey no matter the cost as Jesus did for us, to be a "living sacrifice" for God. But even in this, as Kristen said, I believe that God will fulfill us more than anything on earth ever could.
ReplyDeleteGiven that an individual still struggles with homosexual tendencies, would it be wrong for him to partake in a heterosexual marriage in a honest attempt to live a normal life within God's constraints? Of course, this scenario assumes the individual has a genuine love for his wife.
ReplyDelete@Steven, you pose a good question. If the struggling individual loves the wife there would be no reason not too since it is in accordince with God's word. Just like a man with wandering eyes would not be prohibited from marriage. Yet the struggling individual should not do so as a means to overcome that tendency. The only means of overcoming any sin is faith in Jesus Christ alone. It is trusting in God's word whether we FEEL like it or not.
ReplyDeleteJust read this article and the discussion and really enjoyed it. I just want to throw into the discussion, maybe in a simplistic way, the following sequence of events:
ReplyDelete- 1960's Feminist movement starts in France and spreads to the USA.
- Women are called to pursue careers and motherwood is devalued.
- The role of women in the family changes.
- Men are at a loss about what role to play in the family, their role needs to change and reflect the "modern" times.
- With financial independence divorce becomes a much easier way out to marital problems.
- Both men and women are encouraged by society to pursue their own careers and individual hapinness.
(- Ironically, not even feminism has freed women from the call to be eternally beautiful and always perfectly groomed, even if they're working full-time outside and inside the home.)
- divorce gives birth to an always greater number of single parenting families.
- The number of boys being raised by single moms is epidemic (check Donald Miller's blog - author of Blue Like Jazz).
- Most of these boys grow solely entired by women - their moms, sisters, gradmas, moms' single friends and so on...
- How can these boys develop their masculinity?
- Men are not called to be the protectors and providers anymore. Feminism has released them from this duty and, instead has called women (so many single moms) to be the protectors and providers of their families.
- No wonder so many of these boys get confused about their own identity and what it means to be a man. Boys need to be taught how to become men (this involves their sexuality).
- How about starting to work with this new generation of abandoned boys? They don't need to grow up thinking, feeling and expressing themselves as women... and sooner or later falling for homosexuality, because another man one day gives them the attention, love and respect that their fathers failed to give.